this is a worthwhile occupation
even though I don’t have shoes
and looking trail
Daily Archives: June 16, 2007
there is a layer of judgment in the clouds
it’s atmospheric pressure there
thin band of cloud that blesses you
this is the way of cloud
I want to make a stanza
this is something that I want to do a stanza
this is what I want to do an ice cold water
this is something that I want to see a mountain
I’m seeking shamans and
I seek technique
I seek farewells and island life
I seek the brilliant obscurity
I would laugh out loud
and be happy to be so obscure
and never to share not to share
and not to say a word
a flaring silence
flowering
and firing
silence
This is me relaxing
this is me not liking what I’m writing
this is me still looking for the answer
this is me with a vestigial sense of boredom
this is me with mountains petals mountains petals mountains
this is something like a bag of petals paper catching petals
this is vision you are bequeathed a vision and you grasp it whether it is sandwich bags or earth house hold
this is your gift your vision
this is how we do it
how and how and how
this one wants to write through everything
this one wants pigtails
this one wants to be the age I am
this one wants disabilities and aches and pains
this one believes in happiness
the floral happiness
the petalled extras
the extravagance
the vagaries
the vacuum vengeance
the cosmic curiosities
the wretched
there are unawakened
there are emotional storms
Ralph’s sadness and his brave front
how do you like your brave front now
in Al-Anon I hear a lot of hatred, greed, delusion
for me it was a help to label that
for me it was a help to lose belief in “me” as a stable concept
there goes self acceptance, ego, ambition
getting better, doing more, perfectionism, anything like that—
I can smell my armpits very faintly
hemorrhoid and I miss California
there is a sensation of letting judgments drop away and no big deals
not trying to achieve you see this backlog boatload
reminiscent wish for Gertrude mind you wonder
woman next to me a fleshy mountain dressed in purple
next woman slim in orange, brown skin
asking questions
tentative—
like the turtle laying her eggs on the beach
trance tears running
trance tears trance tears
your 10-year-old body cannot take it
no ambition
no clarity
or lack of clarity
there is the sweetest delicate salve
like flower scented
and it flows
it’s over all that
and the meaning—
I practice looking into people’s eyes
and asking questions
Question Question Question
awake enough
are you awake
Earnest morning gave a backlash
a background a boatload
of unspoken advice
the “I can help you” and “I know the answer”—
answer answer
—okay—relax the mind
these are my instructions to myself
Knit crochet or write
writing forms a lacy shawl
lying on the page
Kore Improvisations
Stanzas in Meditation
Invo Invocations
june 16, 2007
There is a way to hold
the thought of holding something underwater in the light
the experience of holding onto something
holding head or cup or pen
the holding still
hold horses
hold up hold
house household
hold hard