slow thoughts on a fast day

I am still avidly reading Jude Hill’s archives. It is a wonderful experience. Novel-like, but mostly images. I find her work so compelling and informative to my own questions.

oddly enough, selling work is less difficult than thinking about it. at least that is how it seems right now. in some ways it is rewarding but there is an element of interruption in what i like the most about creating. the flow. the slowness and lack of schedule. fitting the stitches into the rhythm of the rain or matching the colors to the weather. holding the time it takes in my hands. ignoring the destination…having no particular place to go.

It seems like a revelation to me that you can discover and embrace what you like most. And that slow wandering is okay to like.

It is very important to discern what you like and what you don’t like. This relates to the Buddhist term vedanā, relating to pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral sensations. Since I learned this term, I often find myself spontaneously categorizing some fleeting sensation. Most recently, I labeled beating eggs in a bowl as a sensation I find very pleasant. There is nothing else to do at that point, just noticing.

…the best solution i can find is using some rule outside myself. one that includes less pressure and no authority. i have chosen a lunar cycle. that suits me. it contains no hard feelings, and a personal rhythm that is more like a gentle reminder.

I love this solution of looking for a gentle rule outside yourself. I need to come up with some of these. I have never been able to tune myself to the lunar cycle. Something to think about.

Jude Hill, undoing a business cycle, June 10 2009

slow cloth

…upon waking i immediately engaged in a holding ceremony. just so it didn’t get away from me completely. slow cloth involves some role playing. some sort of bonding is required. getting involved. commitment. acknowledgment of thoughts caught… the keepers of story.

Jude Hill, Spiritcloth, March 30, 2009

So amazing, so beautiful. Can this even be possible with paper? (let alone digital files…)

oh yeah (creativity)

for me, it comes down to #1, catching a thought, and #2, staying with it. perhaps “the plan” is a lie, another untruth. one which generates the illusion that one can be in control. and perhaps this is the source of many sadnesses.

so i now see the creative process as always radiating outward, as opposed to filling up some predefined vessel with things. i think it is more about sitting in the center of a thought. and really being there. over and over, at each instant. with all your heart. and letting that instant color every movement and so….everything in your range is part of that thought, is related to your current journey and absolutely everything is there for you to use. and this process is a positive gathering of elements filtered through your heart and it is something new because of that and this is a happy feeling. peace.

and you continue on until you #3, finish ( oh, NO, there is no finish….another untruth…) until you are ready to let it go.

let it go, let it go, let it go. ( singing to the tune of “let it snow”….)

jude hill, december 11, 2007

quiet questing questions

sometimes i get the feeling that developing and practicing a craft has far reaching implications in our personal development as well. ..a window of sorts. an edge and a meeting point between the inside and the outside. ….all things being similar, the patience to understand your material, the thought process involved in problem solving… the quiet determination that perfects a thought … the research to connect the dots and make a vision materialize…..

to understand just one thing through and through answers so many other questions for me, and it would culminate in the ability to share that feeling… my never ending quest to answer my main question, is communication really possible?

“quilting for answers,” May 14, 2007, Spirit Cloth, Jude Hill

I am so taken with Jude Hill’s craft that I’ve started reading her whole blog back to 2006.

Side note: Blog software really needs to support rereading a whole blog in chronological order. Using the archives, I can read monthly in chronological order, but within each month, I have to read in reverse chronological order. It causes a whiplash effect as I see results then run into posts on planning, but it’s worth it.

I think my main question is related to hers. I would phrase it “is intimacy really possible?”

I am committed to developing personal symbols. This is a process of attention. First one: the heavy curly bracket.It really has an impact, even if there is nothing inside.

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november invites

November invites –
a line from a poem I wrote long ago.

Contemplating walking –
I’m eager to post about my walks. It feels like an attempt to walk into a difference.

Jude Hill’s Spirit Cloth
Very inspiring. The pace and the determined focus. Minimal words and lots of pictures.

Walking and tinkering
with the appearance of this website. I am looking for something so particular. I had to edit font sizes on this one. And the title has not arrived yet.

Corners, sumi-e

Corners, sumi-e