monday – water

woke up to a gentle rain
and morning tea
washed brush after touching up the door
washed bookshelves cleared of books
rinsing sponge
sweating as I packed
pot of “Paris” tea at Tusk & Cup
hiking at Topstone, skirting muddy trail
crossing stream
circumnavigating pond
crossing little dam
conscious that falling in wouldn’t be so bad
feeling the air’s intense humidity

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sunday – the lovers

Motherpeace called me back

offering gifts – immediate clarity, relief

Three center cards:

Significator “The Lovers”

leading to a question, What is it that I love?

Atmosphere “The Son of Wands”

male presence, positive power of mind

Crosscurrent “Temperance”

also known as “Art” – what is to be integrated

Outer ring:

four sword cards

Emperor, High Priestess, Wheel of Fortune

meteoric metaphors

saturday – the door

take door off its hinges
set up sawhorses on a drop cloth
measure the middle and put a screw there
repeat with other sawhorse
position the door between the two
drive screws into door to hold it horizontally
add a third “holder” screw at one side
paint one side
spin it, paint the other
paint the edges
paint another coat

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mowed the lawn

this gender fluid person
abandoned by the one who “always” does this
took it as a challenge
to get the lawn mower out of the basement
install the battery
attach the grass catcher
start it
(easy)
mow the back yard thoroughly
part of the neighbor’s yard too
mow the garden where the weeds are reigning
finally weed the rhubarb
sweating

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comms

another work post
this week’s foreground

series of silly
meetings sequence of

emails that activate
inflammatory impulses

I resist ’til 8pm then
reply with twisted wording

rescued by a call
from Blair who references

Soul of a New Machine
and his organizational insights

now recognizing high points –
one relaxing chat, without agenda

scrum meeting where I felt free
to entertain

self motivational

rug pulling going on at work
rug’s still there, but wrinkled
rucked up, a tripping hazard

the directive being managed collaboration
opposing forces I can’t identify
as they say above my pay grade

know what we’re trying to do
embrace the nimble and creative nature
of our luxury – small team collaboration

not “loving certainty more than hope”
Rebecca Solnit’s observation

gender fluidity

motivated by feminism my whole life
wanting a career, my own money, making decisions for myself

the Robert Bly panel raised the question
what if a gender fluid person walked into a men’s gathering

opened my eyes
my gender binaries can cause more suffering

as in “I’m always responsible for meals and cleanup”
or the “hysterical female” strategy at work